Friday Feels: CoNECD and Connections, Igniting Hope
“I’m on a mission to change the world for not only myself and my children; I’m committed to reshaping it for every “why-do-I-feel-so-lonely” soul out there. My mission is to make the lonely feel less alone.”
The CoNECD Conference holds a special place in my heart. CoNECD, the collaborative network for engineering and computing diversity, is not just an event; it's a deliberate and compassionate journey towards making our work, research, and environments genuinely equitable. Dr. Bevlee Watford, the visionary force behind this gathering, chose the theme "perseverance," a nod to the unwavering spirit of civil liberties protectors.
During lunch on the first day, equity centers shared stories that touched the very core of our humanity. A Virginia Tech presentation on neurodiversity unfolded with a 60 Minutes feature with the heartwarming lines: "I wouldn't change my son for the world, but I would change the world for my son." As a parent navigating my own challenges, where my son and I, both neurodivergent, highly sensitive, and driven, find our place, these words resonate deeply. It's not about changing ourselves or our loved ones but about shaping a world that embraces every unique shade of brilliance.
So, let me be candid: I'm not just on a mission to change the world for myself or my son; I'm committed to reshaping it for every "why-do-I-feel-so-lonely" soul out there. My mission is to make the lonely feel less alone.
I watch my dear friends dance, after all, I am a sucker for love stories and love in action, is even better. Their gentle touches, the twinkle in their eyes, a silent communication that belongs only to them. I yearn for a world where these friends, Rochelle Williams and Brooke Coley can dance like this not only at the conference’s awards dinner but also in the streets, wrapped in the safety of their love—Black love, a beautiful and powerful resistance.
I dream of a world where Melissa DeSantiago and her sisters find peace, joy, and belonging, unburdened by racism. When her younger sister decided which university to attend, Melissa hoped that her sister would choose a different path than our alma mater, emphasizing the need for a space with more diversity and less adversity. "But we met here!" I remarked, highlighting the enchantment of our friendship. However, despite our community, the specter of racism loomed over her sister's potential experiences at our predominantly white institution. I would change the world for her and for Alondra.
I wish I had changed the world for my gay, sober Uncle Joe, the namesake of my son, during his lifetime. I wish we talked more about belonging and embraced him in his entirety in our home, loved and seen for all his beautiful complexity as both a gay man and mental health welfare recipient.
And for my students who come seeking solace after enduring macroaggressions, I long for a world where such pain is but a distant memory. A world where the divisive grip of white patriarchal behavior and the capitalistic "use or be used" philosophy is replaced with the healing balm of understanding, unity, and a circular gift economy.
Standing shoulder to shoulder at the conference with Stephani Page, Serita Acker, and Ershela Sims, I felt our shared journey unfold like a tapestry of diverse backgrounds and bold missions. Recent events, marked by loss and upheaval, only fueled our determination to lead conversations that carve pathways to a brighter future. Our voices, though at times trembling, resonated with strength. Together, we crafted actionable steps to safeguard the joy of Black women in the workplace, laying the groundwork for a more inclusive future.
Our vision extends beyond the present, reaching towards CoNECD Conference 2025, where we hope the dialogue will flourish with the voices of all women of color, trans women, queer women, disabled women, and more. We question the prioritization of profit over humanity and the overpowering nature of greed when love, in its purest form, conquers all. Here’s the “how to” on letting love lead the way.
Here’s why civil rights resonate so deeply with me: the answer is woven into the fabric of my family—a diverse tapestry of colors, loves, and abilities that defy societal norms and expectations. I'm on a mission to bring the world to its knees so that every soul, including my son, can feel the sacred song of love and always choose hope. I aim to change the world, not just for him but for our entire community, because civil liberties are a birthright. Only those ensnared in toxic power say otherwise; therefore, the time for greater community is now.
Therefore, my dear friend, thank you for joining me on this journey. What brings you here, and how do you envision changing the world? Let's co-conspire and sow seeds of goodness. Let's give hope a reason to ignite, setting the world ablaze with love, peace, and comfort for all because I would change the world for you too.
